Not again please (?)
I am recognising old warning signs of what could be another ‘episode’ or whatever the professionals call it.
- The disturbingly morbid dreams that I don’t consider scary or concerning
- the defeatist and irrational thoughts
- the paranoia
- the terror
- mild and infrequent auditory hallucinations that I am not sure are even happening (paranoia/terror combo)
- the flattening effect as noted by several people
- the reluctance to spend time with anyone, though I force myself to
- the infrequency of time spent with people
Outwardly I appear to be hiding it well, but I know the jig is up when people start noticing anything out of the ordinary. The little hints only seep out of the cracks because I am bursting at the seams.
Don’t worry yet, I can do this again, I’ll just climb into the mental cottage while the storm blows over.
Now would be a good time to write.
I always write better like this.